I’ve been in love a time or two, I’m not saying I am an expert but I know what love is and what it is not.
When I was a young girl, my dad doted on me. He always told me I was pretty, smart and that “I had eyes like coffee and cream”… despite his illness, he was the first man I had ever loved and his words counted for everything. My daddy told me “I’ll tell you how you know a boy really love you?” blushing I would say “how daddy?” he replied, “if he waits for you. If he waits until you’re ready to lay down with him and don’t pressure you about it and waits… he loves you”. My father spent years teaching me that “my body was a temple” and that “I was precious and unique, that I was different from other girls and God would bless me if I waited.” And I waited. There was a lot my dad didn’t tell me and I’ve learned a great deal on my own, but he set the bar for me and when all the boys were telling me how cute I was and what they could buy me or show me…. I had heard it all from my daddy.
In my efforts to demonstrate my love for my daughters I continually work on becoming a better mother. All parents have “moments” and I pray for patience, mildness and kindness because I want my children to respect me out of love not out of fear. I am learning self-control and “The Fruitage of the Spirit.” (love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith and mildness.) I have to make a conscious effort to stay as calm and relaxed as possible because I yell. I realize it isn’t always an effective way to communicate with them so I making necessary adjustments.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Clearly describes Love at it’s best, saying “love is long-suffering, love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” I know that is a familiar scripture but do you really understand what that means? And how often do you apply it in your demonstration of love?
Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is more treacherous than anything else and it is desperate. Who can know it?”
I have made some of my worst decisions when I was most in love.
I was 17 when I gave my heart to a man and before he even made me his wife I had dedicated myself to him fully and I loved that man. Unequivocally. We were blessed and enjoyed some comforts and our youth but in the end, it was a mistake. I didn’t know what I know now and hey, stuff happens. Divorce happens. One thing for certain I gave him my all and it did not work. No pain I’ve experienced can compare to the lost of my husband and family but I am grateful for that. I’ve become stronger because of that trial. Some things just don’t sting as much….
I’ve learned that you can’t expect true happiness doing things the wrong way. It’s one thing to not know but it’s a totally different ball game when you do know. (The thing you want so bad may not be what’s best for you but you will make it right in your mind.) I played that game. Resulted in another broken home.
These things I will have to explain to my daughters eventually and I plan to do my utmost to prepare them and encourage them to hold there selves to a higher standard and to appreciate morals and values opposed to tradition. Fornication and sexual immorality is more accepted today, a friend recently asked me “what exactly is fornication?”…. I believe it is one of the main reason behind broken homes and divorce, teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. My daughters will know that by waiting to have sex they are protecting themselves from some of the things I just listed. And ultimately false sense of love.
I have learned from my experiences, growth and honest self evaluation that true love can only be obtained if the parties involved share a love for God. The Bible gives wise, practical instruction on how husbands should treat their wives, how wives should respect their husbands and how parents should raise their children. If we applied those basic principles to our lives and relationships we will be happy and blessed despite the hard times we live in. However, the Bible also points out that we will be accountable for our transgressions. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says “What! Do you not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, nor thieves, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s Kingdom”.
Some people don’t believe in Bible principles but in respect to love, relationships and sex, those are the principles I will teach my daughters and that I will live by, from here on out…
Lesson 3. God is Love. Love and respect for God’s principles will protect you from some of the hurts, trials, tribulations and hardships of life. Be wise my loves, place your heart in God’s hands and he will place it in the hands of a man who will cherish it. Trust in Him and He will make your paths straight. He who instituted Love…